A book about grief can be something a person wants very much, or something they would rather not be given. Before choosing one for someone else, we'd begin there. If a resource is welcome, the next choice is quite practical: do they want a book to read over time, or individual cards they can pick up one at a time?
A longer book to return to
Grief Works by Julia Samuel is adult nonfiction about experiences of bereavement. Our edition is an English paperback with 304 pages. It offers a book-length reading experience for someone interested in narratives and reflections about grief.
That format may appeal to a reader who wants to spend time with a longer account, put it down and return to it. Page count is useful here because it describes the object honestly. It doesn't tell you how quickly someone should read it, or whether they will want to finish it.
A deck of individual reflections
Cards for Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore contains 52 reflection cards about grief and remembering people who have died. The deck gives the reader an individual card to encounter instead of a chapter to begin.
Some people may be drawn to that physical format. Others may prefer a continuous book. We'd describe the difference without calling the cards easier, or assuming that a short prompt asks less of someone emotionally.
Make an offer that leaves room for an answer
If you're considering a gift, a plain question can be kinder than a surprise: “I came across a book about grief. Would you like me to send you the details?” You can share the title, author and format, then let the person decide whether it belongs with them.
If they have requested a particular resource, check those details carefully so you give the edition or deck they meant. If they haven't, their answer may be yes, later, or no. The choice remains theirs.
A note can speak about your relationship rather than tell them what to do with the gift. “I'm thinking of you” can stand on its own. You might also say that you aren't expecting a reply. A separate card leaves the book unmarked if you're unsure whether an inscription would be welcome.
Both of these resources are for adult readers. This comparison is about choosing an object someone has an interest in, not prescribing a way through grief. When the right choice is to send the details and wait, the gift can wait too.
Leave a comment